In his book The Magician’s Nephew,C.S. Lewis tells the story of a boy named Digory whose mother is very ill and dying. When Digory first meets Aslan, he mines the courage to make a request of the great lion: “Please—Mr. Lion—Aslan—Sir … could you—may I—please, will you give me some magic fruit of this country to make Mother well?”[1] Digory hopes desperately that the lion will say “yes” and fears he might say “no.” But he is most confounded when Aslan does neither. The powerful lion seems to change the subject entirely, leaving Digory to simply stand there, awkward and brimming silently with unanswered questions. After some time, the boy blurts out his request again. Up until that point, Digory had been looking at the lion’s feet, but now, in despair, he looks up at Aslan’s face.
And that changes everything.
What Digory sees surprises him most of all: “The tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion’s eyes … [Digory] felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself.”[2]
Aslan hadn’t answered Digory’s request, at least not yet. The boy didn’t know if his beloved mother would live or die, if the good but wild lion would offer her the cure Digory believed he had the power to offer. But what Digory did know is that the great lion cared deeply. Aslan saw him, loved him, and grieved with him.
But what Digory did know is that the great lion cared deeply. Aslan saw him, loved him, and grieved with him.
Trusting God When Prayers God Unanswered
As followers of Jesus seeking to walk with Him in this good but fallen world, we’ve all experienced moments like Digory’s—moments when we know that God can do the miraculous, yet He doesn’t, and we’re left standing, awkward and brimming with unanswered questions.
So, what do we do when the same God who raised a little girl from the dead, calmed the storm, walked on angry water, and fed thousands with a boy’s small lunch is silent? And maybe even more challenging, what do we say to children when they pray to the God of miracles, and His response seems to be “no”?
Maybe the answer to this question is less about knowing the right words to say and more about inviting kids to look into the tear-brimmed eyes of the God who cares. To do that, we must teach kids to relate and remember.
RELATE
Growing up in the church, I inherited a way of prayer rooted in reaction to my circumstances. When something was going wrong, I asked God to fix it. And while there’s nothing wrong with asking God to help us with our problems—in fact, God invites us to come to Him with our troubles (Ps 34:17)—my prayer life consisted of a whole lot of talking “at” God and very little talking “with” Him. For me, prayer was a transaction, not a relationship. I used prayer like a cosmic wish list, but what God offers us is so much better. Through prayer, God offers a direct line to the Creator of the universe and lover of our souls. He gives us prayer to relate—to connect—with Him.
As we walk alongside the kids in our churches and families, we can teach and model a “talking with” type of prayer. We can give them permission and space to be 100% real with God, to cry out to Him with all their feelings, not just the pretty or presentable ones. Teach kids the Psalms. Show them that when the psalmists were sad or angry, confused or frustrated, they cried out to God. A common refrain of God’s people throughout Scripture, including the Psalms, is “How long, oh Lord?” How long must we wait? How long must my loved one suffer? How long will you remain silent?
In Psalm 13:1–2, David writes, “LORD, … how long will you turn your face away from me? … How long must my heart be sad day after day?” (NIrV). David knew God could handle all of him, including his doubts, questions, and frustrations. When kids pray, they too are talking with the God who can handle all of them. So, encourage them to tell Him everything they’re feeling, to share what they hope for and what they’re afraid of.
When kids pray, they too are talking with the God who can handle all of them.
The only time in the Bible when Jesus addresses God the Father using the Aramaic word Abba is in the Garden of Gethsemane the night He was betrayed (Mk 14:36). It’s in the moment when Jesus’ soul is “overwhelmed to the point of death” (Mk 16:34) that He cries out to God using this most intimate name. Even when the answer to His request to “take this cup from me” (Mk 14:36) would be “no,” Jesus, who is God, cries “Daddy.” For Jesus, prayer was not a transaction; it was the way He connected to the Father. The same can be true for each of us, and for the kids in our lives, both when our requests are met with a “yes” and when they’re met with a “no.”
REMEMBER
In Psalm 13, we see David crying out to God honestly, questioning where God is when he needs Him most, but we also see David remembering God’s goodness to Him in the past. David reflects that God may be silent and his enemies may triumph, “But I trust in your unfailing love … I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me” (v 5–6).
Scripture is filled with cries of “How long, O Lord?” but even more often, God’s people are encouraged to “Remember.” Whenever God’s people faced circumstances that felt impossible, when they were attacked, dragged into exile, imprisoned or discouraged, they were to “remember” what God had done in the past. They were to recite their history with God, to remind their own souls that God was faithful and will be faithful again.
Remembering what God has done builds our faith for what He is yet to do, even, or perhaps especially, in the moments when His silence is all we hear.
So, when children experience unanswered prayers, teach them to recite their history with God. What do they know to be true about God? What amazing things did He do for His people in the Bible? What has God done for them? When have they felt His love or been comforted by His presence? Encourage kids to say their story out loud or tell it through pictures.
When I was in my 20s, I served as a volunteer in children’s and youth ministry at the small church I attended. The mom of two girls at the church was battling Stage IV breast cancer; the situation appeared glum. I remember pulling the older girl aside one day to encourage her. I wanted to say the right words, to find the magic bullet Bible verse that would explain why our prayers for healing had gone unanswered. Instead, I stumbled through an awkward, meandering conversation. Several weeks later, the girls’ mom passed away, and for years, I questioned what I should have said instead.
But what if the most important thing I could have done for these girls is exactly what I did? I showed up and let them know they are loved … by me, by a church full of people who don’t have the answers, and by a strong-as-a-lion God who looks at them with tear-brimmed eyes.
Wonder Ink’s 3-year, 52-week children’s ministry curriculum offers kids space to fully find their place in God’s Big Story. Children discover they are Known by God, Loved by Jesus, and Led by the Holy Spirit.
[1] Lewis, C. S. (1955). The Magician’s Nephew. HarperTrophy, 159.
[2] Lewis, C. S. (1955). The Magician’s Nephew. HarperTrophy, 168.
