Any time there’s a group of kids together (no matter the size of the group!), there’s potential for behavior issues. If you’ve ever left after a church service feeling defeated and like all you did was manage behavior instead of lead their hearts to Jesus, you might feel discouraged.
I’ll never forget a particular Wednesday night service when I was leading children’s ministry and all of the kids were extra wild, and I grabbed the microphone and yelled as loud as I could and told the kids to quiet down and freeze.
Then I cancelled the fun game and had the kids sit in silence. I felt like the night was a failure and I was mad at myself for losing my cool and not knowing how to keep the kids’ attention without yelling.
There will be days like that in children’s ministry! But there are also things you can do to help manage behavior and prevent issues before they start.
Some of the most challenging kids in my children’s ministry have grown up to be some of the greatest leaders and influencers for God!
Here are a few of the best practices.
Best Practices for Classroom Management
1. Prepare Ahead of Time and Plan Lessons that Engage Your Kids
If you’re not prepared for the lesson and are scrambling around as the kids are arriving, or reading from the lesson while leading the lesson, you won’t have the kids’ attention. You won’t be able to look them in the eyes, greet them, and be ready to lead them.
Instead of scrambling to gather supplies and read the lesson, always come prepared: both mentally and physically. Gather supplies before kids arrive. Memorize the general flow of the activities and Bible stories (and use your lesson as a reminder, if needed). Then you can be fully present and ready to engage the kids during the service.
Review the lesson ahead of time to ensure that the activities and teaching style fit your group of kids. Make adjustments, if needed, to ensure that the lesson is engaging and interesting for your group. If you have lots of younger kids, their attention spans will be shorter, so you’ll need to switch the activities more often.
2. Set Expectations Clearly
Determine your children’s ministry’s rules, expectations, or values, and communicate them every week to the kids and leaders. Determine your discipline policy as well, and make sure the volunteers know the steps to take if behavior gets out of control. Make sure the rules and expectations are easy-to-understand and remember, and clear for all kids, and explain the “why” behind the rules.
For example: We treat one another with respect and kindness because Jesus loves all people and commands us to love and serve one another. Make sure your behavior expectations are age-appropriate and realistic.
Kids have energy and want to have fun!
3. Recruit Enough Leaders
Almost nothing will lead to behavior getting out of hand faster than a room with too many kids and not enough leaders! There may be times when volunteers have to call off unexpectedly or don’t show up, so try your best to have a backup plan for situations like that. Aim to have at least one leader for every 10 elementary kids (the ratios are much smaller for younger age groups).
Assign kids and leaders to small groups, and encourage each leader to take responsibility for their group. Give specific roles to the volunteers to they know what to do and who they are in charge of.
You can also recruit floaters to help with bathroom time, or people who walk around from group-to-group and help with kids who need extra support. Having enough leaders will also help kids feel known and cared for, which will encourage them to behave well.
4. Incorporate Multiple Learning Styles
Not all kids learn the same way, to paying attention to and including different learning styles in your lesson can help keep the kids engaged, so they will focus and listen. A lesson that involves the kids sitting still, quietly, for 45 minutes isn’t going to be as successful as one with STEM experiments, games, group discussion, hands-on activities, and active worship and movement during the lessons.
Offer adaptations for kids who thrive with different learning styles. Some kids may focus better when they have a fidget tool. Fidgets can help kids regulate their emotions, promote sensory input, and focus. You can keep a few fidgets on hand or even use some that specifically relate to your lesson.
Wonder Ink lessons are written to be inclusive for as many kids as possible, but the lessons also offer tips in every lesson for including kids with different abilities and needs.
5. Keep Their Attention
Use verbal and visual cues to get—and keep—kids’ attention, especially when they are starting to get rowdy! Here a few great ways to get kids’ attention:
- Countdown: You just count down from 5 or 10.
- Say: One, two, three, eyes on me.
- Say: Clap once if you can hear me. (Allow clapping.) Clap twice if you can hear me.
- Vary your voice and tone: If you’ve been talking very loudly, switch to soft and quiet. This will often cause the kids to lean in and get quiet to hear you.
- Tell a story: It might seem silly, but most of the time when I have lost the kids’ attention in a group, if I start to tell a story, every mouth stops talking and every eye in the room is on me. Kids love stories, and it’s a great way to capture their attention.
- Raise your hand: Encourage kids to raise their own hands, or “catch a bubble” by keeping their mouths shut.
- Use visual cues, such as a red or green light at the front of the room.
6. Use a Proactive Approach
If you know certain kids have trouble focusing when they are near one another, intentionally split them up into different seats or groups. Sit them near the leader, if possible. You can even give them special jobs and encourage them to be leaders. Make sure to keep the kids engaged as soon as they come in.
Many behavior issues stem from not having enough structure (the free time at the beginning or end of the service), so plan intentional and fun things for the kids to do during the whole service time.
Be proactive about seating arrangements, the flow of the service, the format and setup of the room, the sound system, etc. Think through your service and evaluate the weak areas where behavior goes awry, then troubleshoot ways to proactively improve those things.
Look for opportunities to connect with them and build them up, speaking life into them.
7. Look Beneath the Surface
Remember: there are no “bad kids.” When kids misbehave, they often need something. They might be neurodivergent and need extra help or support. They might need love or attention. Kids might be going through a hard situation at home or might have experienced trauma. They might be struggling with friendships and fitting in. They might be hungry, overstimulated, or tired.
Before disciplining, become curious to see why the child is misbehaving. Look for solutions and offer ways to support and teach the child. Most importantly, show love and care to those who misbehave.
Offer support and encouragement to both the child and parents. If a child needs more help, come up with a plan to support and invest in that child. Make a personal connection with the child and parents, pray for the child, and offer as much positive reinforcement as you can. Look for opportunities to connect with them and build them up, speaking life into them.
Some of the most challenging kids in my children’s ministry have grown up to be some of the greatest leaders and influencers for God!
If you face behavior issues in children’s ministry, don’t let discouragement wear you down. Trust in the Lord to plant seeds of faith and growth in their hearts even if all you felt was chaos and disorder. God may be working beneath the surface in ways you don’t even know.
Wonder Ink’s 3-year, 52-week children’s ministry curriculum offers kids space to fully find their place in God’s Big Story. Children discover they are Known by God, Loved by Jesus, and Led by the Holy Spirit.
