Basically, the parents we know feel like they are drowning … and then someone threw them a toddler instead of a life preserver.

I was surprised to learn that the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory around parenting. While this isn’t exactly the level of the warnings on cigarettes, when the U.S. Surgeon General issues an advisory, it means it is a “significant public health challenge that requires the nation’s immediate awareness and action.”

One of the most staggering statistics in the report is that 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming. Half of the parents in your church are completely overwhelmed by stress.

They are worrying about money, their time, their kids’ health, safety, and futures, and all the while feeling lonely and layering on the pressure from seeing what seems like everyone else’s perfect lives on social media.

Basically, the parents we know feel like they are drowning … and then someone threw them a toddler instead of a life preserver.

These feelings are amplified during holiday seasons. The pressures of parties and gifts, decorating and shopping, can make parents feel like they are in the middle, being pulled in every direction.

So how can we as the church support and encourage parents in these seasons where they feel like they are in the middle, with everyone making demands? I believe the answer to this is in the declaration that our kids make each week, we can help parents feel known, loved, and led!

mom and daughter listening to music
Credit: Getty Images/Tetra Images/JGI/Jamie Grill

Make them feel known.

No matter the size of your church, schedule time each week to connect with some of the parents God has brought to you. Write some cards to encourage them and tell them they are doing a great job raising their kids.

Buy some coffee gift cards and slip them to a few parents that you strike up a conversation with each week. Send some texts to let them know you see them in this season that feels so intense, and that you are there to support them.

Learn their fears and worries, and then pray for them and follow up.

Make them feel loved.

I often hear people disparaging parents talking about how “they never sign up for anything until the last minute,” or “they are so late picking up their kids,” or “they will never actually do these activities at home.”

After reading the Surgeon General’s advisory, I would hope our response to parents would change to one of always feeling compassion for them.

I am struck by Jesus’ reaction to the crowds around him, which may have felt like a huge inconvenience to “doing ministry” at times. “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36 NIV)

We can help parents feel known, loved, and led!

Many of us are in the same season of life as these parents, and we should know the busyness. Some of us may even know the despair of dealing with financial stresses, or kids dealing with mental health issues – even if no one around us knows what we are struggling with. So this season, challenge yourself to always look at the parents you serve with compassion.

Consider how you might meet the needs of your “harassed and helpless” parents. Listen for the parent who might need a little bit of financial rescue, and see if your church could meet those needs. Look them in the eyes so they feel seen.

Do not rush down any hallway of your church, but walk slowly and take time to see and love the parents of the kids you minister to.

Try for Free

Wonder Ink’s 3-year, 52-week children’s ministry curriculum offers kids space to fully find their place in God’s Big Story. Children discover they are Known by God, Loved by Jesus, and Led by the Holy Spirit.

Make them feel led.

I truly believe parents want to do the right thing when it comes to the spiritual development of their children. I always say “No one has more hope for a child than the person who puts that name tag on them at church and releases them into our care, because they are hoping for that child’s eternity.”

Lead your families well. Give them simple, easy to use resources, and celebrate the little ways they use them. Make a list of resources for spiritual formation they could easily purchase, with links included, and send it to them. Celebrate the views of curriculum videos you post online, even if it seems like a low number.

We started reading our Bible reading plan for families each day on our YouTube channel, in an effort to partner with parents who say they are struggling to keep up, and in one day we had 94 views! That’s at least 94 kids whose parents felt supported and led by their church, and who took a simple step to lead their kids spiritually.

We also started a midweek story time for preschoolers, one morning a week for 4 weeks, that we run a few times a year.

Our young families flock to it, because it meets all of these needs laid out in the Surgeon General’s advisory, they find friends in their loneliness, it is not a financial stressor, we teach and lead them how to simply read and sing and play with their young children to point them to Jesus. Parents have commented that they look forward to story time every week with their kids, because this is their community as well.

Many times, as I listen to our kids repeat the declaration each week, I see adults in the room who get misty eyed as they listen, and many times that is because they need to hear those truths spoken over their own lives.

Caring for the parents in our ministry is an important part of caring for the kids in our ministries, and we need to steward that responsibility well by making our parents feel known, loved, and led.

More for Walking with Families